Mourning Thoughts

Mourning Thoughts

in the quiet dust of yellow light

I blink and open and inhale

a familiar somber dread

lays over me like the scruffy and heavy blankets at grandma’s house

tears of last night stick to my chest

like tape and string

ready as a gift

to unwrap or

to put away in that musty closet

I know the easier answer

this is no exciting opening nor is it a surprise

this present moment unraveling a nostalgic wound

thank you past

thank you future

how thoughtful

I move to get up anyway

my hands hold this weight trembling

fingers lift it to my Father 

He knows how to take care of it for me

I face toward the window light

the morning birds sing

a  new rejoicing

my ears are connected

to my soul connecting

to my lips a song

that I receive

I open

thank you Father