The Peace He Gives

 Hello friends!  As you may recall I chose to turn off the television shows for the whole lenten season. What I knew going in was that I was spending too much time watching tv as a distraction and as a time filler. What I did not know was what was going to come out of all that free time.  God knew.  First, I was at a loss of what to do with myself. Normally I turn on a show when I am eating a meal. Now, my thoughts were free to be heard and to wander in the silence; I began to turn to the last thing I expected: prayer. Meal times became prayer times. I would pray for my food, and my body, and then I would pray for my family, my friends, and anything else that came to mind. Every thought was brought before the throne of God at least twice a day if not three times, whereas before, I had prayed exaclty zero times. Did I keep a perfect streak? Absolutely not. I definitely watched movies as a distraction sometimes. I would sit there while my roommate watched her televisio...

  Lenten Season 2021 Giving up: excessive time doing homework Adding: Intentional rest time God sees my heart. He sees my tendency to idol academics; putting it first and foremost in my life above my relationships, my well-being, and even above God. God sees that when he offers me the opportunity to re-devote my life to him, I choose that opportunity faithfully, even though I still feel stressed and my mind is telling me I am “too busy”. I once heard that busy stands for “Burdened Under Satan’s Yoke.”  I want to live a full life; not a busy one.  Lenten Season 2022 Giving up: Television Adding: Prayer time Reading last years journal entry, I laugh, because now I am no longer in school, and yet I still have a problem. Even with work, I try to fill the time around it with things to keep me busy. Television is time-consuming but it leaves my soul empty and my mind numb. Working on an art project opens my soul with self-expression and gives me a sense of accomplishment when f...

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 Lacking a human need vs. Diagnosis        For me, depression looks like not enjoying the things that usually bring me joy, such as an art project or writing, (which is part of why I have not been writing). I thought, with frustration, that I was falling into depression. Here is a journal entry from the other night I want to share:       "no wonder I get sad and unmotivated when I am lonely...I am not only motivated doing things for people, but rather, doing things WITH people. Life together is what we are created for. I feel no joy in doing things, even things I enjoy, when I am alone every time. I am not depressed; I simply am lacking a human need for wholeness. I lack human relation-aka-doing life with others."       If I went to a counselor, they most likely would diagnose me with depression. I would argue that this is a quick answer that does not include all the factors. Humans were created for connection. When we do ...